Let's talk about facts...

I don't feel you
I don't hear you
I only see you there
being you...
not as part of me
not even close to love
I can't trust you
did I let you in? or are you letting me out?
do you even care?
I never understood people who said they left alone being with someone else
but you helped me get it all clear
we don't talk
we don't stare at each others eyes
we exist...
co exist
yes, you touch me
I touch you
do you feel me?
do you like me?
do you miss me?
am I here?
we only go crazy when we fight
we only go wild when we party
we're only honest when we're drunk
is that even real? isn't just, but an illusion of the things we seem to want?
are we just an idea?
what's on your mind?
I can't read you
I just can't
I can't fucking feel you
I just want real but all I see is fake.

Te extraño como se extraña al invierno en el verano, como cuando sueñas que tienes que correr pero sientes el cuerpo pesado, así como pesa el orgullo y el miedo a dejar de ser yo.
Pero quien soy después de ti? no me conozco, no me encuentro...
No me busques, ya no estoy, mejor recuerdame perfecta, como te gustaba, como cuando no te lastimaba, o mejor olvidame, si olvidame y se feliz, al fin y al cabo ese era mi motivo a tu lado.

Nunca paso...

Y nuestros demonios se unieron, y nuestros corazones se hirieron, y nuestros pecados vivieron, ellos si se divirtieron, y nuestras vidas vivimos y caminamos,corrimos y lloramos y gritamos, y vivimos y vivimos, y sentimos? que hicimos? no olvidamos y no perdonamos y nos amamos y nos amamos, nos encontramos y nos perdimos, y decidimos y terminamos, nos amamos y nos amamos...

So lets put on our masks,
keep walking by and look up
so lets we all pretend...
that nothing happens as this ends
taking photographs, telling a stories
loving the fake, ignoring the real
lets we all pretend that nothing happens as this ends.

Lets we all start a new begining where
no one has a word, where there is no more feelings
lets we all be two, lets we all be two, but who?
who would?

Para ella

No soy perfecta pero voy a intentarlo
no soy correcta pero intento demostrarte algo,
pretendo enseñarte pero no se nada,
intento ayudarte pero no lo hago,
la verdad es que no tengo control de mi persona
y no puedo exigir lo que no soy
te pido perdon, y

Sleepless night, beating heart about to explode, trembling lips, and there it finaly drops from my eye... the worst, the best, the better, the scars, the love the fights. everything hits me right in the face, facing guilt, being confused, life is beautiful but I feel upset, I feel... pain. the fear of loosing, the art of pretending, the innocence is witness, 
what is like to not feel? what is like to be right? 
maybe ill never know, maybe im wrong  
we all seem to show love in a different language
 but the heart, the heart always falls....

5 years later...

Nothing has really changed,

me, I, me I stoped being, I only exist,
love, life, work, love,work,love work, work love..
nothing has really changed, except for the fact that im not the same.

my dreams were left behind, my emptyness was filled, with someone elses happyness
my years went by as the days of the week, only waiting for the weekends to enjoy.
My ideas, my beliefs, they dont belong anymore, I am not me, im sad, but im happy, happy is what I was looking for, happy was my goal, is this happyness?

I have no friends of my own, I am fake, now I am really the push that makes him move, but I stoped moving,
I stoped...

Ive know anger, ive know hypocresy, ive know lying, ive known faking, and I dont like it, I know that nothing will ever bee the same, I know I cant go back, and I dont want to, I just want to find my other me..
a new me, a new beginging because I am being loved, and I love, but it doesnt feel like forever...